...well, I am exhausted. I am really super-exhausted. My feet are burning, but they are up and I'm relaxing and sharing with you which ALWAYS makes me feel better.
I have a feeling that tomorrow will tell more about my physical condition because, as you "age" there's a delay in pain from overexertion. But I HOPE, that I sleep well tonight and not wake up as much as usual. I just feel like closing my eyes and sleeping at 9:20 at night, and that is rare for me.
As far as my "Daring" idea, I've been considering this for a long time and I'm considering it, yet again, but it's more that I am now considering how it would work, if I actually take a step forward and DO IT.
I have been on morphine and/or some form of opiates for a minimum of 10 years now. Now that I'm going to be 50 in 8 months, I need to take a step out "in faith". I need to consider going off of these medications completely to see what "lies beneath". How much pain is under these meds and can I learn to "deal" with it and function?
I really don't know how to handle the mechanics of a full withdrawal, simply because I have tried to "go lower" on my meds before but have gone back "up" because I was feeling such pain that I couldn't continue and I NEEDED TO FUNCTION.....
That's the problem... "NEEDING TO FUNCTION". How can I give up my "household" responsibilities, cooking, cleaning, shopping, bill paying, and the rest of what goes on with daily life. What if I get some "in home" work on a part-time basis? Will I be able to do it? Will I be able to function?
Because, I see myself simply lying in bed and suffering....and not being productive at all.
One idea I had was that I would push myself to start stretching and doing very gentle yoga as soon as I get out of bed in the morning, pray and meditate so that I can relax myself into a state of feeling that I can go on.
I'm just not sure. I will probably contact my brother (an orthopedic surgeon) to get his thoughts on this idea of mine.
What about you, dear Fibro friends? Have you done this, considered it, if you take opiates? It is something that I wish I didn't have to do. But I truly feel that having taken these meds has given me the ability to "live" a life with more "quality" than I would have otherwise.
I am welcoming your opinions, good, bad or indifferent. I don't know if, with my husband unemployed, doing this right now will put undue pressure on him and my daughter who are already very busy with their own lives. I don't want to do that!
Well, I have an appointment at the Pain Clinic on Tuesday and I'm going to bring this up with the doctor and see what he thinks. There's quite a bit to consider and I'm not worried about me as much as the effect that this will have on everyone else, as I will, in effect, be "useless" until I can get back on my feet again.
So, we'll see how I feel physically from my "extreme" walk tomorrow. It should be interesting.
I hope that those of you here in the US are planning on giving yourself a day free of "Labor" and enjoying family and/or friends in a very relaxing and enjoyable way. REMEMBER, if you don't feel up to it, don't push to be "ON". No need to do that!
Until tomorrow, my dear Fibro friends,
Blessings...........................................
Mo M.
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