Dear Fibro friends, do find you're having a problem with your friends and even family with regards to your Fibro and your limitations/setbacks? Have you lost any of your relationships because "they" don't understand your "illness"?
Believe me, I have struggled even with the people who I thought understood the MOST. One friend in particular seemed SO understanding, never gave advice, didn't flinch if I couldn't make it to an outing because of how I felt.
Lately, however, even this friend is starting to "give advice", telling me to "stop and smell the roses" (in other words, go to her outing or just visit her) and then after while, finally coming back to that she completely understands.
But she doesn't completely understand. They never do. She is always going to or having a get together, going out to dinner, sitting by her pool, busy at work and then going out to dinner, etc.
I cannot live that life. It seems that no matter how we "try" to explain, they don't get it. In addition, we cannot really sufficiently explain this illness enough to give it "justice".
There's a part of me that wishes they could just spend one day being one of us, in a flare. Then they could try to imagine living EVERY single day with the pain, fatigue, depression, stomach issues, foggy brain, weakness, headaches, etc.
We can only do so much. At this point, I'm going to make a promise to myself and I hope you can do this for yourself today.
YOU know how you feel. I know how we feel. God knows how we feel. If we have friends and relatives that don't "get it" and want to push us, give unwanted advice, or question how sick we 'REALLY' are, we need to 'let it go'.
If I say, "I'm sorry Jane, but it's just really hard to explain. This illness is very invisible and can be deceiving to an outsider. I hope that it doesn't affect our friendship" and leave it at that, that is ALL I can do.
The problem is when we start stressing and worrying about our friendships and relationships, we FEEL worse. There's no need to explain or justify who we are and what we feel.
Let's ALL resolve today that we don't have to EXPLAIN or JUSTIFY ourselves or our behaviors, with regards to how we feel, to ANYONE, no matter how close they may be to us.
Today is the first day that you and I will eliminate explaining this to anyone.
Actually, let's do this each day. What is ONE thing that stresses many of us that we can eliminate from our lives every day as we approach the "fall season" and head into the holidays.
By doing this, maybe by the holidays, we are able to give ourselves the gift of freedom from stress and a more simplified life.
Whattaya say? Let's DO IT! No more explanations, excuses, just "NO, I'm sorry I can't make it today!"
I believe you, YOU believe you....God certainly knows what you're going through. Let's not go any further than that. After all, the friends that really care, will understand, and those that don't aren't really our friends anyway. Let them go....
Until later........
Blessings......................
Mo M.
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