We have a tendency to want to be alone if we aren't feeling well. First, we often feel no one will understand. Secondly, we feel that don't even have the energy to be "friendly" and sociable when we're in pain, weak and just plain sick and tired. The pressure of being "up" when you're not feeling well is just too much.
That is why it is so important that you come up with a plan with your doctor that will help with sleep, pain levels and energy levels as well. If you cannot get enough energy to get out and be with friends or others in some way, you're going to be lonely at first. I had many of these days and often was drowning in self-pity.
However, after a while I got used to feeling "alone" and that is when the problems started. I've gotten into a "habit" and sort of a routine of how my days go. They don't bother with or include anyone else. I've become a loner and this is really NOT my personality.
When I need to deviate from that routine, I find myself getting stressed out, grouchy and wanting to cancel the event one way or another.
My flexibility has hit an all time low. That can make life boring, mundane and downright depressing.
Today was a perfect example. I had a friend who was going into the hospital for a pretty serious test today. I wanted to be there for her. Originally, the time of the test was 12 noon. That would have been fine for me. HOWEVER, I found out that they had moved the time of the test up to 10 am. Now I had to get up a bit earlier, eat, skip my exercise, shower and go to the hospital.
As it turned out, I was a few minutes late, but so was the doctor. My friend's sister and daughter were also there. I found myself nervous a bit when interacting with them and notice that my neck and shoulders were very tight. I left about 3 hours later after finding out that my friend was absolutely fine.
However, there was a lot of tension in my neck and I went home feeling tired and wondering how to proceed with my day.
I know that a routine can be a good thing, but walling ourselves up in our own lives, is not good. It will lead to loneliness and depression. Finally, you'll do nothing but feel sorry for yourself. Self-pity is one of the ugliest feelings I know!
If you work, you probably don't have much trouble with this. If you have kids that are in school (K-12), you probably have some sort of a routine driving them around and having to "be there" for them at various times of day.
If you're like me, I don't have these constraints anymore. I have a 21 year old daughter and that's it. My husband and daughter have their own things to do. I don't have any pressing responsibilities.
I have to make a conscious effort to make plans each day to accomplish something, but more importantly to go to or reach out to at least one friend or acquaintance. This is extremely important and will keep your perspective and your friendships going. Once I stopped doing this, I lost some friends, because I wasn't being one. You have to reach out to your friends and really try to be a good listener, not whine about how you feel, but truly be interested in what is going on in their lives.
Only by being interested in and caring for others, can we finally feel that we are serving a purpose, in spite of our fibro. We can beat every aspect of this illness. It just takes a bit of thought and creativity.
Reach out to someone you know today, either via phone or in person. The latter is preferable, but at a minimum give a call. Email and texting will not work in this situation.
This will promote your friendships and get your mind off of yourself and your Fibro. Seems like a great gift all the way around. I am going to try it. How about you?
Blessings.......
Mo M.
That is why it is so important that you come up with a plan with your doctor that will help with sleep, pain levels and energy levels as well. If you cannot get enough energy to get out and be with friends or others in some way, you're going to be lonely at first. I had many of these days and often was drowning in self-pity.
However, after a while I got used to feeling "alone" and that is when the problems started. I've gotten into a "habit" and sort of a routine of how my days go. They don't bother with or include anyone else. I've become a loner and this is really NOT my personality.
When I need to deviate from that routine, I find myself getting stressed out, grouchy and wanting to cancel the event one way or another.
My flexibility has hit an all time low. That can make life boring, mundane and downright depressing.
Today was a perfect example. I had a friend who was going into the hospital for a pretty serious test today. I wanted to be there for her. Originally, the time of the test was 12 noon. That would have been fine for me. HOWEVER, I found out that they had moved the time of the test up to 10 am. Now I had to get up a bit earlier, eat, skip my exercise, shower and go to the hospital.
As it turned out, I was a few minutes late, but so was the doctor. My friend's sister and daughter were also there. I found myself nervous a bit when interacting with them and notice that my neck and shoulders were very tight. I left about 3 hours later after finding out that my friend was absolutely fine.
However, there was a lot of tension in my neck and I went home feeling tired and wondering how to proceed with my day.
I know that a routine can be a good thing, but walling ourselves up in our own lives, is not good. It will lead to loneliness and depression. Finally, you'll do nothing but feel sorry for yourself. Self-pity is one of the ugliest feelings I know!
If you work, you probably don't have much trouble with this. If you have kids that are in school (K-12), you probably have some sort of a routine driving them around and having to "be there" for them at various times of day.
If you're like me, I don't have these constraints anymore. I have a 21 year old daughter and that's it. My husband and daughter have their own things to do. I don't have any pressing responsibilities.
I have to make a conscious effort to make plans each day to accomplish something, but more importantly to go to or reach out to at least one friend or acquaintance. This is extremely important and will keep your perspective and your friendships going. Once I stopped doing this, I lost some friends, because I wasn't being one. You have to reach out to your friends and really try to be a good listener, not whine about how you feel, but truly be interested in what is going on in their lives.
Only by being interested in and caring for others, can we finally feel that we are serving a purpose, in spite of our fibro. We can beat every aspect of this illness. It just takes a bit of thought and creativity.
Reach out to someone you know today, either via phone or in person. The latter is preferable, but at a minimum give a call. Email and texting will not work in this situation.
This will promote your friendships and get your mind off of yourself and your Fibro. Seems like a great gift all the way around. I am going to try it. How about you?
Blessings.......
Mo M.
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