Fibro and work - should I stay or should I go?

Does it sound like the words to a song? 

Well, catch this line...

"If I go there will be trouble and if I stay it will be double"....is that how it goes? I really don't remember, but here's my point.....

IF, my dear hurting, tired and weak Fibro friends, there is ANY possible way that you can stay at your place of employment, without killing yourself (exaggeration- Fibro won't KILL YOU, work...well depending on your environment, I can't say), DO IT!

Why, you say, should I stay and push myself over the edge of Fibro hell? 

Reasons are the following: 

- Those people that you work with and spend a quarter of your life with, that you laugh with, sometimes (forgive you) gossip with, argue with, make up with, work with....will be gone. You usually, don't leave saying you'll keep in touch because, NO ONE plans on being on disability. It happens. I didn't keep in touch with my coworkers. I was too sick and stressed out and couldn't deal with even thinking about EVERYTHING I had left behind that THEY would be saddled with, and we are all Type A's, no? But, YES, I DID miss them. Still do, after 12 or more years! YOU WILL TOO!
- That salary that you complained about and thought should be higher. Those raises you got that were never enough, well, they will be gone too! So will the paid vacation and sick leave. SSDI and/or LTD, never MEET your salary and you RARELY, if EVER, get raises.
- Those benefits that you said were lousy, depending on your company and your age and time of service, may be gone too. So, if you don't have them to complain about, you'll wish you did, when they are gone. Trust me! I miss mine...because come 2013, I will become medicare Primary at the ripe ol' age of 50. Not fun and not cost-effective.
- That boss that you hated, or didn't get along with, was probably that way because YOU were feeling lousy and if you had possibly gotten some help from a great Fibro doc, you could have apologized or at least made some sort of peace and stayed. Because of everything else I mention above, YOU WILL SURELY MISS! I did and still do. Really!

I miss all of these things. I have even seen my former boss in the supermarket. We hugged and I teared up. I am tearing up right now, because I'm in a bad spot right now. 

But, please my dear hurting, tired and weakened Fibro friends, do whatever you can to improve your condition. If there is any way possible to keep yourself working, please just try. 

You may think disability is a great wonderful vacation and that you can always go back to work, but it ain't that easy!!! In this economy and depending on how long you've been out of work, you are not a "Hot Commodity" in the job market if you've been on disability for 2, 5, 10 or 15 years when you try to go back. Companies will not pick you first, with few exceptions. (I will talk about what those exceptions might be, in a future post, but you can email/comment if you want to know more, right now.)

It's not an easy road to navigate, believe me, I've tried! I'm still here on disability. I have fought to work, but not succeeded. Sometimes I think I COULD have somehow made it work. My doctors didn't agree and at the time I was so sick and confused I didn't realize that I needed a break to get better, and then get back to work. I was afraid and depressed AND in pain. So, I just did whatever I could to survive. I was ...at the "bottom" so to speak. I couldn't see the forest from the trees and I don't know if my mind would have made sense of much at the point. I was miserable. 

Now I wish I had somehow found (not always possible) a way to stay at work. Not sure it would have been possible for me, but I wish I had tried. 

Please, my dear Fibro friends, give it serious consideration before you really find that you cannot tolerate the work place and that you are failing in your job. Then, do what you must. 

Don't make a decision you'll regret. Again, I'm not saying I could have really stayed. It wasn't fair to the company to have me sleeping away in some back room for that salary. But I wish I had somehow been able to make it work, between me and my doctors .

I am here to talk about this type of stuff! Use me...I have experience. Not only my own but that of friends and other acquaintances I've met over the years! 

Just take it slow, get help making that decision and stick with it as best you can. : )

Until later....

Blessings.....

Mo M.