by two people for whom I thought were my friends.
Friends don't do that.
One was a friend from high school and although she seemed to have my best interests at heart, she was sort of, well, outspoken. I remember hanging up from the call going through the entire conversation and vowing never to speak to her again.
Worse, she considers herself a "doctor". She is (was is more accurate as her license expired) a chiropractor but not a practicing one. She had many ideas of what I should be doing but obviously didn't have a clue about Fibro. But when she started about all of the people who shouldn't be on disability and that I could be healed, I told her I had to hang up and go to bed. Really, I was just done with the conversation.
The other was a good friend who I'd known for years but haven't seen since I've had Fibro. He doesn't have a clue what my day to day life is like and particularly my flares. So, when he saw the "handicapped tag" for my car, he called me a "fraud".
I was sick over the hurt I felt in both situations. I have not spoken to these people much if at all since these instances so I guess they "got my point".
But that's not really important, is it? If people don't really care about us or take the time to get to know us, then why should we care what they think? We should not!
I shouldn't have been hurt by this but just realized from where the comments were coming and let it go.
But, deep down, I think all of us want to be "validated", we want people to "understand us". It seems that the best people at understanding us are others who have what we have. Not that our TRUE friends and family members don't understand, it's just they have never "been there, done that"...in the REAL sense of the pain, fatigue, isolation, depression, etc., that we as Fibro sufferers struggle with on a daily basis.
However, let's be thankful, we DO have each other. We can read each other's posts and know that we are not alone. We can learn from each other's experiences. We can reach out and get support and understanding from each other when we need it.
DO NOT EVER, let anyone who has not walked in your shoes, tell you how you feel, or that you're a fraud, lazy, a fake, or some other nasty and condescending thing. And if they do, well, turn and walk away, hang up and forget it. If they understood or cared to try, they would be a friend. They are not.
I've even had family members "doubt" me and that is most painful. But they have since come around because we had a chance to talk. You may or may not have the same success.
The bottom line is this, my dear Fibro friends, it doesn't matter what others think. Don't make yourself sicker by stressing over what they think.
You know exactly what the truth is and you have lived it every day. So, between us and God, we will manage to help each other through these difficult days. We also know that some days will be better.
Look at the good things you have in your life, no matter how small and smile. Just hold your head up and realize how strong you are to battle this "monster" every single day and get through it. Others might not be so strong. We are conquerors! Together we will educate the world. But for now, we know we have God and each other. That's enough for now.
Blessings.....
Mo M.
Friends don't do that.
One was a friend from high school and although she seemed to have my best interests at heart, she was sort of, well, outspoken. I remember hanging up from the call going through the entire conversation and vowing never to speak to her again.
Worse, she considers herself a "doctor". She is (was is more accurate as her license expired) a chiropractor but not a practicing one. She had many ideas of what I should be doing but obviously didn't have a clue about Fibro. But when she started about all of the people who shouldn't be on disability and that I could be healed, I told her I had to hang up and go to bed. Really, I was just done with the conversation.
The other was a good friend who I'd known for years but haven't seen since I've had Fibro. He doesn't have a clue what my day to day life is like and particularly my flares. So, when he saw the "handicapped tag" for my car, he called me a "fraud".
I was sick over the hurt I felt in both situations. I have not spoken to these people much if at all since these instances so I guess they "got my point".
But that's not really important, is it? If people don't really care about us or take the time to get to know us, then why should we care what they think? We should not!
I shouldn't have been hurt by this but just realized from where the comments were coming and let it go.
But, deep down, I think all of us want to be "validated", we want people to "understand us". It seems that the best people at understanding us are others who have what we have. Not that our TRUE friends and family members don't understand, it's just they have never "been there, done that"...in the REAL sense of the pain, fatigue, isolation, depression, etc., that we as Fibro sufferers struggle with on a daily basis.
However, let's be thankful, we DO have each other. We can read each other's posts and know that we are not alone. We can learn from each other's experiences. We can reach out and get support and understanding from each other when we need it.
DO NOT EVER, let anyone who has not walked in your shoes, tell you how you feel, or that you're a fraud, lazy, a fake, or some other nasty and condescending thing. And if they do, well, turn and walk away, hang up and forget it. If they understood or cared to try, they would be a friend. They are not.
I've even had family members "doubt" me and that is most painful. But they have since come around because we had a chance to talk. You may or may not have the same success.
The bottom line is this, my dear Fibro friends, it doesn't matter what others think. Don't make yourself sicker by stressing over what they think.
You know exactly what the truth is and you have lived it every day. So, between us and God, we will manage to help each other through these difficult days. We also know that some days will be better.
Look at the good things you have in your life, no matter how small and smile. Just hold your head up and realize how strong you are to battle this "monster" every single day and get through it. Others might not be so strong. We are conquerors! Together we will educate the world. But for now, we know we have God and each other. That's enough for now.
Blessings.....
Mo M.
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