So, what do I do with my life?

Fibro has been called the "lonely" illness. I can think of many more terms. NO!?! I really don't mean curses, I mean, the "depressed" illness, the "broke" (finanically speaking) illness, the "sick and tired of being sick and tired" illness, "The unbelieved" illness...things like that. 


But for today, let's deal with that "useless" feeling you have. After all, let's consider that you're unable to work. There's the first part of dealing with that "fact". Just because you've received the OK from Social Security and/or your disability carrier doesn't make your mind ACCEPT that you're career or job is over. 


I'll ask the question....if you're been awarded Social Security and or LTD, like I had, there's a period of time that you are "elated". You've gained "validation" of your illness. 


However, for me, as for some of you ...possibly....that doesn't last long. As I see my husband walk out the door to got back to where I worked every day, I start to feel "guilt". "Maybe I could have tried harder...", I say to myself. Hey, I didn't say anything I thought was logical. 


But there is a nasty feeling of "uselessness" that begins to creep in for some of us...many of us, in fact. The truth is that many Fibro sufferers are Type A's, go-getters and workaholics. Therefore, going from that life, to a life of, staying home, can be a shock.


So, now what? .....you say. What do I do with my life? 


Believe me, this is a question I've asked myself time after time over the past 12 -14 years and I struggle with it even today. 


I DO have some suggestions to start with. I am not going to tell you to go back to work...please, now that you've won your SSDI and/LTD benefits, don't now go back and run around the same mountain. 


One thing you can try, that I did, when had my pain under control and ON the days I felt "OK", was volunteer. If you go to a church, or you a have a child that attends a local school, or there is some community  group that needs your help, this could be very helpful for YOU and THEM, right now. 


You will feel less "useless". However, if you fall into the "type A" category, keep the activity balanced. Don't offer to take over managing the entire organization, committee or whatever it is that you attend. You'll discourage yourself with a physical setback. 


Also, is there a "cleaning" or "purging" project that you couldn't get to because you had no time and weren't up to it when you were working, well, start that. Go slowly, give yourself breaks when needed. 


Please dear friend, I truly believe that we have this illness for a reason, and that reason will become apparent for each of us. Hang on with me! I'm right there with you. But in the mean time, think of things that will "get you out of your own mind" and stop feeling sorry for yourself. It's not easy, try to push yourself if you can, because the rewards will be much greater if you do this than if you hadn't tried at all. 


Take it slow, my friends. Think, what advice would I give a friend who was feeling this way....and then, well, aren't you your own best friend? If not, it's time to improve your own relationship and encourage yourself more. Don't give up. You will see that life is better day by day. Take my word for it. 


Blessings....


Mo. M