Setting NEW boundaries with Fibro

Dear Fibro-friends, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that with our "new" lives, we must set "new" boundaries. 


In my last post, I mentioned a girlfriend, who is panicking suddenly over a job search. Well, I wanted to help her and because I have an HR and resume-writing background, I figured I'd use it and not charge her a penny, of course. 


Well, here's where boundaries come in. The resume process takes time. She gave me two copies of her resume and then proceeded to spout orders at me about what needed to be included, etc. She was on a cell phone and kept cutting out. Then when I tried to stop her from giving me huge sentences over the phone, she   said that I was interrupting her and acting like her mother and she hates that. 


I suddenly realized my hands were clenched, my shoulders were up to my ears and and my stomach was churning. I was being spoken down to and feeling quite on the offense. 


I let her continue and the phone conversation ended. I sent her a text message and told her that I would put her resume copies (originals that I hadn't touched) in my mailbox for her to pick up. I told her that although I wanted to help, it seemed that she needed to write the resume herself since she seemed to want it done NOW and with the exact wording that she chose. I told her I was very sorry. 


At this point, I have not heard from her. 


Now, my normal response would be to feel "badly" about this. Do you ever feel badly when you can't be all things to all people? 


This is the time to stop. You are NOT all things to ALL people, you never were and NOW you cannot be for your health's sake. 


I got on the phone with another friend of mine and I 'vented' a bit and then I prayed about the entire situation. 


I am feeling much better now that I am free of the situation. 


But here's my point, set up boundaries. A "friend" who knows that you're "sick" would never bark demands at you and then yell at you like you're a child!! 


Be careful who you choose for friends! Do they uplift you, support you, listen to you? Or do they suck the life out of you? 


The latter group needs to be eliminated. You are not a "punching bag". You deserve to be treated the way in which you would treat others.

I feel stronger (OK, a bit drained emotionally), and happy that I stood up for myself. I rarely do it and I DID it! 


Today, examine the boundaries in your own life. Are you doing too much for others and not enough for yourself? Who is suffering for this? Please set up boundaries for yourself. 


I have a bumper sticker on my SUV....."Fibromyalgia....it's REAL!". It IS real, no matter what others think. 


Take care of YOU today!


Blessings


Mo M.